Well everything I do, im a disapointment. I took my finals last week, and passed most of them. Civics I failed...and I studied for hours....
So this is a vent that i need to get out, because honestly its driving me insane. I feel like running away again because all I do in my life is fuck up. I cant do anything right.
Draw, Write, Help, Learn. I cant do anything.
For my final grades in art i got a C, Civics D, Creative Writing B, and Geometry C . My step dad said what is he suppose to be proud of. He said he isnt going to be proud of 2 C`s and a D. My mom didnt help me, i was standing on my own argument. My mom said it was up to me and him to figure it out, figure WHAT out mom? I did my hardest, and its not enough. It never is.
Lately I feel like my friends are drifting away from me, im that girl in the crowd who people pass by. Old friends dont try to talk to me anymore, new friends found others. Im with Caleb, Justin, Amanda, Kat, Gabi, and my friend Ricky but he moved back to New York.
I dunno....I just feel like the whole world is crashing down upon me again. And those nightmares are back, where i wake up at night in cold sweats, shivering. Its horrible. I see myself die, or i see others die. Most of the time i cant remember so thats good, but i remember some with my dad. And those are hell. My mom has been having the nightmares with my dad too. Its really not fun.
Anyways, things are getting better i suppose, my brothers moved out so im all alone, and its really quiet at home. Oh and deviantart isnt working for my laptop, when i switch from my inbox to notes, it signs me out, or even just another screen it signs me out. So ill do my best to get on, but i havent really been on my laptop in quite some time, 2-3 weeks..hah i use to be on every night.
Ehh...anyways hope everyone is doing good, sorry that i kinda just vented ^^" Heh...but ill try to be back, say hey to me once in a while hah...
Bye guys, and no, im not suicidal anymore. I have been having a lot more flashbacks to when i ran away and when i tried to off myself twice. Im trying to be ok, and im trying to be more social and stuff....its ehh...i dont like new people unless they talk first, because then i have no choice in the matter.
Oh next semester starts on Wednesday! I have Art 2, Biology, Geometry (I have it year long), and English 2.
Well im off, adios!